What is it that sets adults apart form children?

It strikes me that having an awareness and appreciation about the wider world is a big differentiating factor.

It’s for this reason that means kids have no shame about acting up in public and parents are left red-faced at their antics.

New dogs, Old tricks

At the moment, we are trying to impart this on our children on two different levels. For the youngest (2), he needs to learn that pulling his sister’s hair or biting his mother’s arm actually hurts. It is a daily lesson and fingers crossed the biting phase comes to an end soon.

For my daughter (4.5), we’re trying to teach her an awareness of her actions outside of the house. This is, amongst other things, to avoid her bumping into people and things as she walks along the high road talking ten to the dozen but not actually looking where she is going.

I appreciate that there is no end point to these lessons. There is no stitch-on badge awarded for being aware of your surroundings and considerate to those around you. But it is a scale and the further along we can push our kids, the better.

At the basic level, most people know that biting is not acceptable. So, a certain level of consciousness is expected. Beyond that there are fully grown adults who have as much awareness as my daughter i.e. not a lot.

Old Dogs, New tricks

The driver who stops suddenly to see if the left hand turn is the street that he/she is after before moving straight on is no different to my daughter stopping dead in her tracks to adjust her leggings for the umpteenth time as we walk down the High Road. In their heads, their actions are justifiable. To the people behind they are an inconvenience. Unfortunately, I can teach my daughter that next time she should perhaps move to the side of the pavement before stopping dead. However, I am unable to tell the driver in front of me that indicators are there for a reason.

People are quick to tut, eye-roll and moan when kids are involved. Yet they reserve little of the same behaviour for other adults. Even if they meted out the same, they are likely to get criticised for it.

The old boy who has to swerve their supermarket trolley out of the way of my kids marauding up and down the tinned goods aisle is the same chap that leaves his trolley blocking the middle of the confectionary aisle when he realises that he has forgotten his packet of rich teas, ten paces back.

Appropriate Behaviour?

Is there any difference in these two scenarios? Not really, the net effect is the same – a temporary inconvenience. But it is behaviour I can correct in my children. In ten year’s time my kids will have stopped charging up and down the aisles. However, it is not beyond the realms of possibility that the old boy is still causing an obstruction on a weekly basis.

Yet it is ok for the old boy to shake his head at me and give my boy an evil look. I, however, would get dismissed as either rude or impatient if I were to return the favour.

My wife knows me and she knows what my instinctive reaction is going to be in this sort of situation. She knows I will respond either in some overt or passive aggressive way (yes, I’m not above this, I’m not perfect) and she is quick to reel me in.

But should I just let it slide? What gives me the right to comment if I do? Who knows, but while I am trying to decide, please don’t block the aisles in the supermarket.